I know a guy who’s heard elk talk before. So not a robot just an avid fisherman.
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I remember the tale of why Elongata retreated in to the mountains. It is the tale of unrequited love. A tale of @RobotLove .
In the final days before our modern times, mighty Elongata searched the jungle looking for her love. When she, at last, found him near the temple, only to be shunned by him. The Robot lover proclamed “Sorry Elongata, I already have a girlfriend”. In a jealous rage she crushed her @RobotLove with a seed pod and escaped to the mountains where some say she remains to this day.
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She kept trying to put her seed in me man. That aint consent bro… that aint consent
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well we now know whos going to win the prize dram.
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I have 3 stories to share, although they are all very old, and little people know their stories today.
they will also listed in order from oldest to newest
The Hermits and the Stars
A long time ago, in while the world of Taella-Oso was still young, there were rumors of a hidden cave with very powerful monsters hiding within. 3 adventures answered the call to subjugate those beasts. Upon arrival at the cave, the brave adventures realized it was much more dangerous than they had realized, and decided to wait outside the cave for 2 more to fill their party. There they waited for many hours, and eventually hours turned to days, to weeks, to years. After all this time, the adventurers turned into hermits, simply waiting outside of the cave. As they waited there was nothing to do but shoot fire balls into the blank endless sky. Back then the fire wielded by mages were stronger than the ones nowadays, and they flew endlessly through the air. It is said that the fire balls that the hermits fired still fly through the sky today, becoming the first stars in the sky. The names of these hermits were Laminar, Half Noodle Boy, and The Forgotten
The Man Cursed By The Gods
Back before all mobs gave out all pieces of gear as determined by the Gods, each mob was blessed with but a single piece of gear to distribute. Back then, no other piece of gear was more sought after than the elusive Jungle Shoulders hearing of the tales of this very rare piece of armor, a group of 5 adventurers sought out these shoulders and one by one they were collected. All but one that is. There sat Half Noodle Boy, relentlessly slaughtering those beasts, it could be called nothing but a slaughter, but still he was denied his loot. this continued for decades, until he finally got his drop, but to his dismay the gods decided to play a cruel joke on his poor soul. When he reached out to grab his prize, it was snatched away by a spider, the messenger of a god, and carried out of sight, to a unreachable place. They say his rage was uncontainable, but he pressed on in his journey, dragging his weary friends along with him. This continued for countless years, until the gods finally took pity on him, and gave him his goal. The person in this story is Half Noodle Boy
The Castle Of The Gods
Did you know that the symbol that the Patreal Knights adopted predates there whole organization, and the path it leads was there before as well? Well back then there was a adventurer, who went by the name of Laminar. One day he was traveling with a few other companions, when they came upon those runes in the wall. Intrigued, they deciphered their meaning and followed the path. Upon arriving at the end and finding nothing, the 2 friends left to continue their previous adventure, but not Laminar. He believed that there was more to the puzzle they the others had thought. So he searched the place of what is now know as Maats Throat, and found a hidden path. After following the path he arrived at the foot of a steep, unclimbable mountain, and sitting at the top was the Castle Of The Gods. Enjoyed at his discovery, he ran to tell his friends, but no one believed him. Not Half Noodle Boy, not Snuggly Bunny, not Super Spread Sheet Guy. But there he saw a new face, a person by the name of Sharkie. Upon telling Sharkie of his discovery, he agreed to go and see it. When they arrived, Sharkie let out the amazed scream of “it is actually real!” After that they left that place, as it was late, and they decided to sleep on the discovery and come back the next day. Unbeknownst to them, during the night the Gods had a meeting. Whether it was out of anger, or fear, we do not know, but during the night they moved their castle away, to a unknown location. Some say that Laminar is still out there, looking for his lost castle, while Sharkie denies that the experience ever happened, but alas these are but legends, and who knows where they are now. Some even says he cornered a God in Narrow Orchards when he was pretending to be human, and offered bribes to find out which of the Gods had moved the castle!
These are all the stories I have to share today, but who knows what may jog my memory, and allow me to write more!
EDIT: All of these are based off of true stories
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Just reposting so you guys know I’m doing a contest. @Kamina and those of you who have stories can use the same story for the contest. 
So you want people to post the story in the contest thread, not this one?
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Or maybe link to it?
That works fine! You can do that!
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Yes. Or you could link to your post in this thread. I want it all there so that people actually have to see and read my post to compete. That way I’m hoping some people will donate DRAM for the contest (see my thread). Also then I don’t message somebody who randomly wins but didn’t even know about the competition. Also that way people who go to this thread who post multiple times can post once in the other thread with their submission. It’s one submission per person and I’ll take the last submission you posted in my thread (or as stated you could link your post here in my thread)
Nice stories, Kamina! Look forward to any others you think of / come up with!
How about those vying for the competition post on MagicBacon’s competition thread, and those just sharing stories continue here since I have nothing to do with the competition. If you post a story here and want it considered for the competition, just copy and paste it over on MagicBacon’s.
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Thanks Aris. Sorry for taking attention off your thread though o7
About the Almas spirits 
Stay a while and listen…
There was, once upon a time, a man. But not any man. This man was unusually smart, reminding those near to him of a particularly bright rodent at times. This man had an idea one day. The idea of ideas. Something incredible. Something unbelievable. He went into the magic wood, he bested many dangers and lo! and behold and also verily I guess, when he returned, he held in his hands… a wooden stick.
At this point some of his relatives began to fear for his sanity so they did the only reasonable thing which was to burn him alive on the nearest solstice bonfire for breaking the law of the woods and inflicting environmental hazard on a World Magics Heritage Site.
Anyway, they kept the magic stick which took revenge for its master by turnign them all into not very authentic spirits with a craving for apples of all things.
credits to style of humor to T. Pratchett
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Hooray some ghost origin stories! Thanks, Michael!
–The Fisherman of Fishermen
Have you ever wondered why people tend to fish in large groups along the shore? Ever noticed that those boats in the distance never return to the harbor? That those silhouettes never… stop fishing? Supposedly there’s only one known survivor of The Fisherman of Fishermen, The Lurer, The Manfisher… This predator has many names, and one prey in common: those he encounters fishing. Does he seek to protect the fish? Does he want all the fish for himself? They say all Almas Sprite by the water’s edge are his victims, still thinking they can put up a fight, and those doomed to fruitlessly fish on the unmoving ships never even knew what hit them.
–The Star Crossed Friendship
Once upon a time, a young lad just old enough to spread his wings went to Guardian Bart, determined to prove himself as the greatest warrior in all the land. Bart sent this lad to slay a king stag, but he took a wrong turn and went down the stairs by the airship dock. This mistake led to a chance encounter with a rogue runemage, who had been ostracized by Guardian Bart for dabbling in heathen ways. The runemage risked entering the unwelcome town to lead the warrior to his first real world fight. They got along so well that the warrior reached out to the runemage and befriended her. From there on out, they swore they would adventure together. The tough warrior quickly realized how squishy the runemage was, and vowed to always be her shield. They traveled all across the land, ran through random portals, and survived countless misadventures. The runemage taught him how to fish, and the warrior taught her how to make potions. They worked together as a team and even slayed the Völuspa in the cave, just the two of them. The warrior began to dabble in magic and could effortlessly cast fireworks. The runemage also taught him how to cast portals and resurrection - on more than one occasion they had to raise the other from the dead. Whenever an adventure separated them in unknown lands, they could always find each other with their trusty compass. They faced giant spiders, bandits, other formidable foes, and still took the time to share what they could see in the stars. What they didn’t see, what they should have seen, was the end of their journey. The warrior barely finished sending a message to the runemage before he was taken, and though there was only the lapse of a minute, it was too late. The runemage’s shield was gone. To this day on clear starry nights, some say you can still see the runemage studying the stars for clues to his whereabouts, endlessly searching until she can find her warrior again. Others say she has found a way to reach him on the other side, and can only communicate when all the stars are out. Those that dare to get close enough swear they hear the incantation, I’ll dig under the mountains, I’ll search over the clouds, I’ll wish on every single last star…
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Listen well for I will only speak this tale once.
Years ago there was a young lad who lived just outside of this very town. His name is known only by the mountains and trees now. This lad, for he could not yet be called a man, was a good lad. Hard working and loyal this boy was a favorite of the townspeope. Though he did not live in the town the boy was a frequent visitor as he often came to sell the wool he collected from his sheep. Often the townspeople would question the lad asking him, ‘Why do you not bring us meat from your sheep?’. The boy would always reply the same way, ‘My sheep are not for the slaughter. The only day time they will provide meat is when they die of old age.’. The townspeople always thought this response was strange afterall weren’t sheep raised to be killed? Despite this oddity though the town was always welcoming to the boy and his sheep. This was life for the boy and he loved it. His sheep provided him company and wool for selling and he provided his sheep with protection and love. It was a realtionship that both groups cherished though a relationship that was soon to change forever.
It was a sunny summer afternoon that brought the boy back to flock after a short visit into the town. The lad had found good trades today as the townspeople had just been visited by a number of wealthy adventurers passing through the area. The adventurers had been the talk of the town and the boy hoped that he could maybe meet them later and ask them about their travels. He thouhgt about the many lands the adventurers must have explored and the awesome feats they must have accomplished. All these thoughts vanished from his mind when he saw the remnants of his flock. The carcasses were strewn across the field where he had left them grazing. No sheep had escaped the rampage and the boy could only fall to his knees and weep. Before him lay not just the eviscerated husks of his livelihood but the barren bones of his family.
The boy was distraught and nothing would comfort him. The townspeople took the lad in and attempted to care for him but the boy would not drink he would not eat and he would not sleep. He only sat staring into nothingness and cried soundless tears. On his third day in this state the boy ran out of tears to cry and he merely sat. It was at this time that he learned the truth of what had befallen his sheep, his family. As he sat upon the barstool of the local inn three adventurers wandered into the inn. They were rowdy and spoke to all who would listen of their recent exploits. Mere days ago the boy would have been eager to hear these tales but now they were no more than the sound of wind through the trees to him. That is until he heard one sentence that pierced through his depression: ‘yup those sheep were the easiest kills we ever had’.
The room grew silent though it took the adventurers a moment to realize that no one listened to them anymore. All eyes had turned to the boy on the stool but the boy only stared at the adventurers. “What did you say?” The boy’s voice was hoarse with disuse and caused shivers to run down the townspeoples spines. The adventurers began to reply but the boy gave them no time and lunged at them with a nearby fork. The adventurers scoffed at the attempt and one casually backhanded the boy to the ground before kicking the boy out of the inn.
Outside traffic in the small town stopped as the boy rolled across the ground. The adventurers followed him out and questioned him, ‘Why did you attack us?’. The boy whimpered in the street elicting a swift kick from one of the adventurers, ‘Answer us boy.’. The boy spoke barely above a whisper, ‘You killed my friends.’. The adventurers looked around in confusion until the innkeeper, having followed the disturbance outside, mentioned the boys sheep. The adventurers took a moment to look at each other before bursting out into laughter. One stepped forward and proclaimed, ‘We’d do it again boy. Those sheep were ripe for the slaughter and we’d never have found such easy prey any where else.’. At this the boy lunged at them once again with a shrill wail only to be cast to the ground with another casual blow.
At this the adventurers turned to the townspeople and yelled out, ‘You see this boy, he has attacked us twice now. Take note we do not handle such threats lightly.’ and with that they began to beat the lad. The beating was not intended to kill but it was harsh all the same and many times throughout the boy cried out in pain asking to die and so he did. Though the adventurers were intent on leaving the boy alive few things can hold the human spirit to life when it has given up and so the boy breathed his last there in the town square under the heels of the adventurers but his story does not end there.
Months went by after this event and the tale of the young lad became a cautionary tale to those who would meddle with adventurers until one night when an adventurer came into town near dead and covered in the blood of his companions. The man was as white as a sheet and told tales of a creature that rose from the ground and set upon his group. When pressed the adventurer revealed that his group had been slaughtering sheep just before the creature appeared. While the adventurer continued to panick the townspeople decided that the creature could be none other than the twisted spirit of the young lad come back to protect his flock from those that would slaughter them for entertainment or gluttony. It is for this reason that to this day we only eat lamb on the rarest of occasions for to kill a sheep is to invite the wrath of the creature.
Hear these words that I have spoken and keep them in mind for even to this day the creature lives.
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I have recalled another great tale, but this time it is a story of a grand battle, victory, and subsequent annihilation
The World VS The Worm
The date had been set, the world had decided it was time to make a strike on the most dangerous creature that had ever been discovered, Sanyael The Grand Worm. Standing at 100 feet tall, with even more if it buried under ground, it terrorized the desert ever since its creation by the dark gods, and the heroes of the land decided to finally put a end to it once and for all. Everyone gathered, Laminar, Sharkie, Snugly Bunny, Half Noodle Boy, Female Morgan Freeman, HealBullets, Million Dram Boy, Over Healer, Budget Over Healer, The Disciples of Treasure, and many many more. Leading them all in the effort to destroy this beast was Super Spread Sheet Guy.
When the night arrived, everyone gathered in front of Her layer, and SSS Guy told everyone the plan of attack. Right before they troop went to battle, Laminar stepped forward to give a speech. These words were no ordinary speech, it was the most magnificent speech that had ever been given. Upon hearing Lamina’s words, the army became filled with courage and hope for the battle to come. After that the battle started quickly, with SSS Guy giving the attack command and everyone rushing the beast. Arrows flew, spells raged, bullets pinged, and swords slashed. Every time the worm into a group of adventurers, they would expertly escape danger, and come out unscathed. Sanyael would flail, lashing out at everything in its way, but each time it did the targets would deftly escape. The beast was all brawn! No speed, intellect, or precision! As they began to corner it, it let out a devastating blast of poison on everything within 100 yards. Everyone was affected, but the quick thinking of the healers saved the day, as they quickly decursed the whole group. After its trump card was exposed and dealt with, the rest fell right into place. The worm was slain!
As the celebration at a outstanding victory was unfolding, lightning flashed, thunder boomed, and the sky tore in two. A message had been received from the gods. The Sanyael they had just fought was a “special” Sanyael, and none of its attacks besides the poison were able to harm anything and that a new one would be sent, with it fully functioning and fully powered
The heroes, although disheartened by the news, were still confident in their inevitable victory. With a cry they began there attack again, and as they charged, Sanyael dived at them. The adventurers that was its aim prepared to dodge, but as they were reach by Sanyael, every single one died. Every move Sanyael moved, a dive, a flail, a slash, a roar, more people died. This continued, until there was only one remaining. The last one remaining was none other than Sanyael The Grand Worm.
this is another true story
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old legends speak of a jester who plopped his orbs on an old island and some worshipers took them now brave adventurers seek to clam his special orbs.
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Nice!
Also, oooooooo, Super Spread Sheet like an excel spreadsheet… I was honestly envisioning a spread out sheet, totally flat with no wrinkles, and wondered who would have been named that. Spreadsheet, now life makes sense xD
I also wanted to add that Guardian Bart talks of singing on the battle field, but he’s wrong about it being the weapons… It’s the dead who are singing.
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Btw, anyone who can correctly put the peoples real names (in game) to their assigned nick name will get 500 dram!
i think my dram is safe 
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Is there a prize for getting three right? Because I only think I know three 