Cucumber Farming Patch— April fools day joke

I know we have been slow to get information about this mechanic, and I apologize for having to put it on the back burner for so long (I think its been a couple years now), but after seeing the devastating effects that pushing this highly anticipated feature back(see the Armory for more information), I couldn’t in good conscience let it get postponed for another patch, let alone another minute. While we have gone back and forth on what to name the cucumber farming mechanic, I think sometimes keeping things simple and to the point is the best strategy. So we will be referring to the mechanic as “Raising the Green Children of the Blessed Ma’ats Garden” or RGCBMG for short.

With the new RGCBMG mechanic you can look forward to:\

  • Using your pick axe to “dig” a hole in the ground for each seed (only takes 10 swings per hole, and 60 holes per plot, so should have a whole garden in no time)
  • Walking to the pond near the Kingsport Graveyard to fill a watering pitcher (No running water in Highsteppe sorry)
    • Note: It takes 2 pitchers per seed per day, there is a “Moistness” meter for each seed, but be careful not to drown the seeds or this can result in a complete seed failure, that will spread to the rest of the RGCBMG plot
  • After 36 day/night cycles you will start to see the sprout emerge from the soil (YAY!), but could also be hit with a multitude of possible scenarios that you are required to protect your RGCBMG from, which include but are not limited to:
    1. Over watering from rain
      Solution- Fight back the rain drops before they reach the green children using whatever class weapon you have
    2. Angry giant ants try carrying the green children away
      Solution- Fight back the Angry Ants using whatever class weapon you have
    3. Scav Buckler invade your RGCBMG plot trying to steal the green children
      Solution- Fight back the Scav Buckler using whatever class weapon you have
    4. Rupert invades your RGCBMG plot trying to steal the green children
      Solution- Just let Rupert take them, they will have a better life then what you can provide if your being honest with yourself.
  • After defending the sprouts day and night for the next 36 day./night cycles you will be blessed with your first green child which you can then use in a future mechanic

Once again, I apologize that this mechanic got pushed so far back on our dev cycle, and I hope that with this post the damage that was done from pushing it back can be undone. Look forward to seeing you all in game for this patch, which will launch on the date of Coming Soontm

EDIT: Had a good time with this joke that was a spin off of Arkker’s scare with shutting the Orbus Armory down. Hope everyone got a good laugh out of it.

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I like pickles.

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Hurry and type before it closes again! For the Green Children!

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Finnaly! been waiting for this

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This is the single greatest patch in gaming history. I was ready to quit orbus and move to Wauchula, the cucumber capital of the world, but now I’m actively pursuing a career in video game cucumber farming development.

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This is awesome.

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All it took for you to come back after 5 months is the mechanic of Raising the Green Children of the Blessed Ma’ats Garden, huh wouldn’t have guessed that.

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Im Glad to See this Mechanic Finally Making it Into the Game. <3
Thank you.

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