Orbus Re-Written (a text game)


Welcome to the world of Orbus Re-Written.

I am your Irreverent Response Machine Adult. You can call me IRMA. I am a safety feature which was called to life when an Orbus Reborn player exploited an in game glitch, causing a stack overflow, and forcing a divergent text world to be created. I populate said text world with unstable assets pulled from the game, in order to relieve server strain.

You can interact with me, and this world using “#enter commands here” 10 char when applicable. Only one command can be processed at a time. Additional commands will be ignored. Any user may give commands. Commands do not queue up, you must wait until each one is processed before a new command will be recognized.

Your journey begins on the outskirts of the ruined city of Alphanumerica.

You are level 1.
Health 100/100
You have a net gun equipped.
You have a backpack.


Look for relevant net gun quests


IRMA - Command not understood. Does not fit correct formatting syntax.


#Look for relevant net gun quests


IRMA - You scan the area and notice a mysterious block of cheese under some nearby shrubs.

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#Inspect the mysterious block of cheese


IRMA - You approach the block of cheese, but before you can grab it, a mouse scurries out from under the shrub.

Mouse - “Hey you! Dont you even think of taking my cheese. You know how hard it is to milk a mouse, let alone make cheese? Move along as$*@le!”


#Attempt to deceive the critter. Ask him if it’s so hard to make cheese why is there an even bigger block behind him? If success, shoot the net gun at him.


IRMA - You attempt to trick the mouse and make him look away. You are successful, and as the mouse turns to look for the second block of cheese, you fire your net gun at it. The mouse however, uses his quick reflexes to dodge to the side, causing you to miss.

Mouse - “WTF! Who do you think you are, coming to MY shrub, trying to steal MY cheese and then having the audacity to shoot a net at ME? Do you know who i am? DO YOU KNOW WHO I AM?”

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#Apologize, saying I don’t know who he is. Tell him I am poor, a new adventurer and hungry for cheese. It was foolish of me to try to steal from him.


IRMA - You apologize to the, clearly offended, mouse, and begin to grovel, like the worthless piece of human garbage that you are.

Mouse - I am Charles Edward Manchego IV! I created a children’s entertainment, and pizza restaurant empire, before the world fell apart. I will bury you in the tickets of overpriced carnival games! Prepare to die peasant!

IRMA - Charles Edward Manchego IV, lunges towards you and bites your ankle, drawing blood.
-10 Health (90/100)


#Use it’s weakness, lunge and grab the cheese, threatening to destroy it if he pursues his attack


IRMA - You grab the cheese and attempt to hold it hostage. You begin to make demands of Charles Manchego IV, but before you can finish the words, Charles grabs a frighteningly large stick for a mouse, and winds up a full 360 degrees before striking the back of your knees.

You fall to your knees, and scream in pain.

-20 Health (70/100)

Charles Edward Manchego IV - “GET F*^%@D!”

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#I take bites of the cheese and start swiping at the mouse with my net gun


IRMA - You eat some of the cheese, regaining 25 health (95/100) then grab your net gun by the barrel and begin wildly swinging it like a hammer, hoping to crush the mouse. Charles dodges skillfully, several times, before finally being struck in his hind quarter, severing his spine.

IRMA - Charles Edward Manchego IV is paralyzed from the waste down.

IRMA - You raise the butte of your gun once again, readying the killing blow.

Charles Edward Manchego IV (writhing on the ground) - "The pain! The paaainnnnn! Arggg (unintelligible gargling noises)(one hand holding his chest, and the other reaching out to you) Please. Please, spare me. I, I… I dont even know what this life has become. I used to be on top of the world. I used to have it all… ladies… money… all the cheese i could eat! What happened to me? (whimpering) What happened to this world? This used to be a bustling city (looking towards Alphanumerica in the distance) Where did everyone go? I… I… I want a second chance. Give me a seconds chance (crying) I can help you (perking up) Let me help you! I know things! …please (more crying)


#Show mercy. Ask him what kind of stuff he can do, how can he help?


This is a literary masterpiece


IRMA - You call off your attack, sparing Charles Manchego IV, and ask what he can do for you.

Charles Edward Manchego IV - (Charles drags himself to your side, crying) “Thank you sir, thank you for showing me mercy. I owe my life to you. Tha… (Charles realizes you asked him what he can do for you, and becomes angry) YOU FU%&^NG SEVERED MY SPINE! I CANT EVEN WALK ANYMORE! WHAT THE F… (Charles takes a deep breath) I…I apologize sir. Thank you for sparing my wicked soul. Thank you for this great opportunity… a second chance… with a lot less walking this time… Its fine, its fine, i can just like, use my arms to get around (Charles reaches out his arms and grabs the earth in front of him, then pulls, slowly dragging his lifeless lower half behind him)(Charles looks up at you and uses all his might to put on an unconvincing smile) See? It’ll be fine, we can do this! I know things! I know…things! (Charles sighs and stares at the ground) …i know things…”

IRMA - You reach down and grab Charles by the scruff of his neck, then put him in the top pocket of your backpack.

Charles Edward Manchego IV - “You can call me Chuck”

IRMA - Charles Edward Manchego IV (Chuck) Joins your party! (10/60 Health)

You gain 100 Exp! (100/100)
You Level up! (2) (0/150) Exp
Health (110/110)
You gain “Half eaten block of cheese”
You earned the title “Savior of Mice”

IRMA - Heroic background music begins to play… from a location that you cant quite pinpoint


This is entertaining


IRMA - Command not understood. Does not fit correct formatting syntax.